A humorous and educational look at speech pathology.

Archive for May, 2011

Obfuscated Objective for 5/30/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective is a speech pathology and dysphagia objective, themed for Memorial Day.

What you write: “Client will manage oral intake by taking bites of appropriate size.”

What you wanted to write: “Client will NO DO NOT PUT THAT ENTIRE HAMBURGER IN YOUR MOUTH AT ONCE.”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!

Obfuscated Objective for 5/27/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective is a speech pathology objective, also courtesy of my lovely and talented wife.

What you write: “Client will express himself in complete, short sentences.”

What you wanted to write: “Client will understand that ‘Well if it was Sunday yesterday Saturday before that Friday before that Thursday before that Wednesday before that Tuesday before that Monday before that and now a week later so I think Monday’ is not a good way to answer the question ‘What day is it?'”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!

Obfuscated Objective for 5/25/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective is a speech pathology objective.

What you write: “Student will use already learned oral vocabulary to request treatment breaks to care for personal needs.”

What you wanted to write: “Student will say ‘uh oh potty’ before he wets and soils himself, not after.”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!

Obfuscated Objective for 5/23/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective is a TBI Objective courtesy of my lovely and talented wife.

What you write: “Client will facilitate participation in treatment activities by removing external distractions from the therapy environment at the appropriate time.”

What you wanted to write: “Client will get off the damn phone when the clinician enters the room to begin therapy.”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!

Obfuscated Objective for 5/20/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective (the “what you wish you could write” portion) comes from Lisa at Talking Tots via SLPTanya on Twitter. I’m not entirely sure of context, so I’m going to give a two-fer today with regard to the objective you might actually write. The first is a general ADL objective, the second is probably a psych one:

What you write (clothing-related) “Client will choose and maintain contextually appropriate attire during clinical treatment sessions and while in the community.”

OR

What you write (other-reason-someone-might-do-this-related) “Client will maintain socially and contextually appropriate and mutually consensual personal relationships with clinicians, staff, and other individuals in the community.”

What you wish you could write: “Keep your knickers on, Mrs.”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!

Obfuscated Objective for 5/19/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective is a Technology Objective (and possibly a little old-school).

What you write: “Client will correctly interpret the intended meaning of direct instructions with multiple possible literal meanings.”

What you wish you could write: “Client will understand that there is no such thing as the Any key, and that pressing Enter works just as well.”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!

Obfuscated Objective for 5/17/2011

Today’s Obfuscated Objective is a Speech Pathology Objective (although it also works for anyone who works with traumatic brain injury, dementia, or any other kind of impulse control issues).

What you write: “In order to reduce impulsive behavior, client will use verbalizations to request permission to perform desired actions.”

What you wish you could write: “Client will at least ask before attempting to grope me.”

-John

Like this post? Have a comment? Have an objective you want me to obfuscate? Leave a comment!